diagnonsense

Been about the same since Thursday, which is better but bad. I bought 12 pairs of underwear that don't fit. I've gotten a lot done. Done Christmas shopping, almost finished wrapping and doing cards, etc. Putting myself last, as per. I got mad today, which isn't unusual because my mood is a box of chocolates jammed into the cylinders of a loaded gun. I really wanted to see Loving Vincent in the 10 seconds it was at the art theater here, but I did for everyone else instead of taking two hours for myself, and now it's gone and there's no way I'll ever see it in theaters unless it gets a re-release ahead of awards season, which I'm hoping for, but judging by Rolling Stone's Oscars predictions, it's not going to happen. Same old shit: war movie, emotional torture porn, Casey Affleck. Over it. Fuck it. Fuck everything. My dad told me today that I needed to calm down, and I said, "I am physically unable to calm down that is my entire fucking problem my entire fucking life why can't you just get it and help me."